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 UCSB Bites
AS Funding Nuggets:
The AS dropped the ball (again) when if funded $1,000 to
the PIKE fraternity for the Fight Night. With $1,000
from the AS treasury in hand, it's limos, bimbos and fights
for PIKE. Throw in a couple of sexual assaults
and it will be a perfect weekend (all expenses paid)
for the pimps of PIKE.
Accounting mastermind and AS On-Campus Rep Justin Pabian
needs to look up the word fungible. I wonder if the
AS would fund the KKK picnic as long as the AS money only
went to pay for the beer and bratwurst and not any of that
ugly racism stuff?
Politics As Usual:
Chaz Whatley for AS presidents? Sounds like Cervin
Morris lite! At least Chaz might put a dent in
the budget crisis. If she continues her tee-shirts-for-criminals
program and sells at least ten shirts for each UCSB student
who gets arrested, she could bring in lots of cash for the
AS.
Recently discovered Student Party's secret platform planks:
1. Increase AS funding for "Oppressed
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."
2. Find even more loopy ways to
waste money.
3. Require gangsta sensitivity
training for IVFP - UCSB gangsta are sooooo misunderstood.
Other Bites:
Two coeds standing near Chancellor Yang had their hair
permanently frizzed by steam emanating from the good chancellor's
collar when he said that he does not oppose what the Dark
Side is doing.... riiiight!
Respectfully submitted,
Banjo Reams
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